Love + Patience + Time by Chelsea Baugh
Written on 31st Mar 2013 by Sylvia Lowery
Guest post by Chelsea Baugh
I am no expert when it comes to motherhood, but one thing I do know is this, from the very moment our first child entered this world, I knew instantly my love for her would never fail. It’s amazing how in one single moment you can learn one of life’s most important lessons, that is to love. A love that runs so deeps it’s unconditional. A love that seems to grow with each passing day. And a love that teaches you daily the lesson to life.
Cali at a local carnival.
Cali with her sister Ava.
Cali with her Dad.
Cali is our first born. I never would have guessed how much of a teacher she would be even as a newborn. I also never knew how much she would help teach me on February 28, 2011. This is the day Cali was diagnosed with autism. Two years and five months prior to this D-day I thought I had already been taught the great power of love, and I did, but yet again Cali was there teaching me the true meaning of love.
For this post I was asked to write about what I have learned in our journey with autism. Love is the first thing to come to mind. Autism can be a confusing and difficult concept to wrap your head around. Especially when first finding out. But for me, when I heard the words, “Cali has autism”, my heart, while panged with sadness, had ironically also grown twice as large. You know your heart is growing when you can feel an intense beating inside your chest. It feels warm inside and you know others must be noticing because surely the beats are causing an outward, rhythmic motion on your shirt.
First and for most, autism has helped me to learn even more how to love. Autism has also been the great teacher of patience. I can remember before getting the diagnoses and becoming frustrated or upset at Cali with each passing hour. Experiencing toddler tantrums every thirty minutes each and every day definitely constitutes some aggravation and frustration. Or how about losing your child at every store, park, or other various outings because they are master escape artists. Yep, that can also add to the exhausted, irritable state of a mom. Before this simple little label of autism came into our world, I was finding myself growing more and more impatient with what I thought to be a defiant and naughty little girl.
Patience is the key when working with autism. And actually I’ve slowly learned patience to be the key with all children. Naughty or not, defiant or not, patience mixed with love should be the driving force of all parenting and teaching. Cali’s brain is wired differently than kids without autism. I have learned to take a step back and relax when an unforeseen disruptive act occurs, or a rabid mad scream fills the inside of my car. Patience seems to teach Cali and myself more lessons and more understanding than any reactive, rash parenting. Patience gives me an opportunity to first, remember that Cali’s wires are functioning differently, and secondly that the functionality of those wires may be the cause of an unforeseen disruptive act or rabid mad scream.
Autism teaches me patience and love, but there is another concept autism has taught me…the value of time. I have found time to be an invaluable component in our journey with autism. Once a moment has past you can never get it back. If this true, than I want to make my time with Cali count. Whether our time is spent in formal therapy or time on the floor playing with princesses, both seem to offer invaluable time gained. I don’t want to look back and realize time was lost. I want to gain the precious moments that time has to offer. Couple time with love and patience and you have yourself the best formula for finding answers to the seemingly daunting and heavy laden word autism.
Two years into the world of autism and I have learned some of the great lessons of this life. Does this mean I have it all figured out? No. Does it mean that I am now more than ever held accountable for guiding and rearing Cali in the right direction? Yes! Staying ignorant may be the easy route to some, but I opt to learn and grow with this thing called autism. How can we ever become our best self if we keep ourselves in the dark? Cali needs me to continue to search for the light, to search for knowledge and understanding. So far the light is bright. Love, patience, and time make it bright and I am sure with many more years ahead the light will continue to brighten.
Thank you Cali for helping me to learn and grow. I love you!
The Baugh family
Thanks to Chelsea Baugh who wrote this inspiring article. You can visit Chelsea’s website here :-
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