Autism and anxious thoughts- Part 1 Being part of the ‘worried well’.
Written on 2nd Sep 2013 by Alex Lowery
This is a part of a series about the different types of anxiety I have; this article is about health worries and fears.
I get anxious sometimes and worry that I’ll develop a particular illness or condition that I don’t want to get. At one point, I was interested in the human body, and I learned that if you eat loads of fatty food, it may lead to a heart attack. My Granddad had a number of heart attacks and it looked very scary to me. Individuals with autism take things literally and are very black and white. The idea of the heart makes me feel delicate and like I am about to collapse. I became afraid of eating any fatty food, even though my family mainly gave me healthy food. If ever we were to have a McDonalds or something, I’d be frightened to eat the food, for fear, I would get a heart attack. Once this fear had got into my head, I thought I only had to eat one bit more fatty food, and I’d get a heart attack.
The thing is that part of me knows this isn’t true but part of me still believes it. There was another time when I had heard that it is common for people on the autism spectrum to have epilepsy. My mum had also said that when I was little, she thought I had a fit. After hearing this, I started to get worried I’d get more seizures, and because I now had this fear, whenever I felt dizzy or shivery or anything, I’d think “I’m having a fit!
Recently my Grandma heard how much steroid inhaler I was on and said I would become diabetic. I am still really worried this will happen. I even tried to reduce my inhaler’s in the summer but my asthma got worse. Donna recently told me she got a hernia from bending down, crying and that kind of thing (I can’t remember exactly). I became terrified I would get a hernia because I stim a lot. I was sitting at my computer and I got this pain in my side. I thought ‘Oh No! I’ve got a hernia.’ I was able to talk to myself. Just thinking of the risk of becoming diabetic has got me worried again.
I believe in always trying to see positives in everything. I am thankful I can manage my anxious thoughts and can use my experiences to help others. I also think it’s good to try to eat healthy food. In most of my articles I manage to come up with something positive about autism but anxiety is something I am struggling to see in a positive way. I don’t see it as part of my personality but rather as something that takes me over and can make me miserable. Some aspects of my autism have improved as I have got older, but anxiety has got worse as I have become more self aware. I am still learning how to cope with it and I hope to progress. I know there are people who are much worse than me. If any of my readers have their own experience of anxiety and would like to comment and give me advice I would love to hear from you.
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well as you know Alex healthy eating and regular exercise are the best thing for a healthy life. I think that you could do a bit more exercise and I am sure Sooty would not mind a longer walks. As you have said in this article you family eat healthy. So that is a good thing. as for medication it is good that you tried to lessen what you that but found out that you need to take it. Lots of people take medication daily to stay alive. Me as one. My hernia was coursed by crying a baby, I think this was because of the milk I was drinking. when I first found out that I had a hernia the Dr said that it should be operated on. But when my dad told me it has been there from when I was a baby I no longer worry about it.